Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
