Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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