You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
false alarm. still invincible.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're like the curious george of whores
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize