I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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