ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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