So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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