dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
