Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
