To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
