Sry I called you an 8
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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