i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
