This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
