I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
