he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
