No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
