Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
