I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
