real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
