We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
