He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
