maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
