My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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