Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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