I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize