I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
