My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just high enough for therapy.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize