I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
