Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
