Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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