Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
