There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Randomize
