I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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