I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
