I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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