I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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