Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You dont lie about slip and slides
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize