It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize