I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
