STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
