The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
