when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
