and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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