guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
