New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
