do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
