I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
