its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
