You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
