dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
