I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize