last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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