he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
