Only a mothe r could love this liver
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I can't turn off my feet"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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