I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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