it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
