How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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