Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
