Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
