her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
