Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Two words: blizzard sex
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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