ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize