So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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