My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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