hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize